Being in a relationship involves a lot of openness and honesty. That’s vital when it comes to both trust and being a responsible partner. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, however, there are still topics you’ll probably find difficult to bring up.
Sexual health is one of those topics for many couples.
Things become even more complicated when partners have differing views on ensuring safety.
Regular STD screening is the smart and responsible thing to do, even if you are in a committed monogamous relationship. The general recommendation for everyone who is sexually active is to get tested for common STDs at least once per year. But what if your partner doesn’t want to participate? Is there anything you can do to change their mind and get screened together?
Understand Their Reasons for Refusing First
Before figuring out how to approach the situation, it’s important to dig a little bit deeper and understand the cause of their refusal.
Some people have simply been brought up to feel shame about sexual topics and sexual health. It’s something that many families don’t talk about. In that case, you can work on bringing awareness and helping your partner understand that testing is a normal part of healthcare.
In other instances, people may feel that asking for a test means you don’t trust them enough.
That’s a more delicate situation you will need to approach gently. You need to be very open about your feelings and the reasons why you need screening for both of you. Approaching the topic compassionately and in a non-judgmental way can help you deliver your point across without sounding offensive or standoffish.
Whatever the reason, try to have a deep conversation. While your partner may be hesitant at first, they will open up eventually. Don’t push and don’t adopt an aggressive approach. Being patient and letting them handle the situation on their own terms will usually yield best results.
Refrain from Employing Ultimatums
You need to understand one very important thing about ultimatums – they change relationship dynamics. This isn’t a tool you want to be employing lightly as the approach may backfire.
Telling your partner you’ll refrain from having a sexual relationship with them until the two of you get tested is not the best approach.
For a start, you will be coercing them into doing something that they’re uncomfortable with. You should be motivating your partner to get tested for the right reasons. Having peace of mind and comfort are obviously excellent goals to pursue. The desire to get sexual isn’t something you should exploit to achieve your goal.
While this may seem like an easy way out at the time being, an ultimatum can break communication and lead to a vicious cycle. There are definitely better ways to handle your partner’s lack of desire to get tested.
Make Sure They Understand the Importance of Screening
The best approach is to educate, educate, educate.
Not having one’s facts straight can make people believe they’ve never engaged in risky behaviours. There are still lots of misconceptions about sexually transmitted diseases. if you really love and appreciate someone, you’ll definitely be doing the right thing by giving them good information about sexual health.
Instead of pushing your partner to get screened right away, visit a sexual health clinic and have your most pressing questions answered by a knowledgeable healthcare professional. Chances are that your partner will acquire a lot of new information that will change their mind and lead to better sexual health practices.
The Blame Game Doesn’t Work
There is one final scenario we need to discuss and that scenario is based on fear.
Some people fear getting tested because they’re worried about having an STD and being judged or even rejected for it.
So, if you do get tested and the results come back positive, you will need to work hard on the correct response that isn’t going to push your partner away.
Playing the blame game will never be a constructive approach. People don’t feel good when they’re yelled at. Also, there’s very little they can do after the fact. The manner in which you approach the situation from that point forward will determine the strength of your relationship.
Understand the fact that most STDs can be managed and even cured. The sooner you know your status, the easier it will be to come up with an adequate course of action. Remember that you’re in this together. An STD test is only a tool that will give you more information. What you do with that information is the thing that matters the most in the long run.
Being in a relationship comes with its challenges. Still, you have exceptional opportunities to grow together and tackle difficult situations in a mutually beneficial way.
Learning more about STDs will build the foundations of responsibility and trust. If you need some assistance, contact Shim Clinic now or visit us during working hours every day of the week. Our consultants will be happy to work with you and your partner, suggesting the screening panels and types of protection that make the most sense for you.