It does rather spoil the mood, having to stop and search for the small package. It invariably ends up at the bottom of the bag or is not in the pocket you thought it was in. Then you can’t get the wrapper undone. There is fumbling. It is clumsy when you want to be sexy. It is plastic, when you are looking for real and intimate. It is not just a barrier to STDs.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, if used properly a condom can be sexy. It doesn’t have to say casual sex, it can say I care enough to protect you. It doesn’t have to be clumsy, it can be foreplay.
- Plan ahead.
Far from being the sign of a casual liaison, it can show you are well prepared. It is not a good idea to brag about it on a date, but having it in easy reach when things do get steamy will stop it disrupting the flow. Know how to put it on, women I am talking to you as well as men. Practice ahead of time so that when you do need it, it can be done smoothly. The very first thing to do is to learn how to wear it properly. Here is one useful video from plannedparenthood.org:
- Get the right size
This would seem to be a no-brainer, but most men who find condoms uncomfortable are using the wrong size. Too large and it can leak and then can result in the spread of STDs or the even more dreaded unplanned pregnancy. Too small and it can be painful and prevent orgasm. Find your size by using the method outlined at http://luckybloke.com/pages/find-your-condom-size.
- Use lube
A wide variety of sexual lubricant is available and most are found beside the condoms in stores, or more specialised ones can be ordered from adult websites. Avoid ones containing spermicides as they are often irritating. The condom is generally sufficient to prevent pregnancy and spermicide does not increase their effectiveness to any significant degree. A drop inside the condom will make it easier to apply and increase enjoyment for the male. Applying it on the outside will prevent friction and increase enjoyment for both partners.
- Role play
Make the condom part of the fantasy. Get your partner to help apply it during a massage. Foreplay not only increases the intensity of the sex but also builds the relationship. Foreplay teaches both partners what the other likes and improves the sexual side of any relationship.
Condoms are a huge business and the variety is astounding. From glow in the dark, to flavoured to ribbed designs you can pretty much get a condom for any occasion. Far from being a hindrance they can add spice and surprise to your sex life. If you don’t feel comfortable browsing in the store you can check out the different types at http://www.condoms.com.sg/
Remember that condoms do not protect against all STDs and they can fail. There are other preventive methods including staying faithful in a monogamous relationship, abstinence, going on HIV PEP therapy if you engage in high-risk sexual activities. But even in a faithful relationship, a condom can add spice rather than spoil the mood when used correctly.