Every good relationship involves serious communication. That means talking to your partner about topics that can be very uncomfortable or prone to resulting in conflict. Finances, sex, parenting and pursuing life goas together are all such topics.<\/p>\n
When it comes to communicating on intimacy, each couple has some specifics to focus on. One such topic, however, is universally important. It\u2019s the topic of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).<\/a> Most people have some sort of background and history. When getting in a serious, committed relationship or marriage, that history<\/a> has to be discussed.<\/p>\n If you feel reluctant about discussing STDs\/STIs with your partner, here are some tips and pointers to help you ease into the conversation and make the most of it.<\/p>\n The topic of sexually transmitted diseases<\/a> is quite broad. So, in order to talk to your partner, you\u2019ll have to narrow things down.<\/p>\n It\u2019s always easiest to broach the subject as a matter of fact conversation. This will give you an opportunity to monitor your partner\u2019s response, direct the discussion a certain way or leave it for the future (if they don\u2019t seem ready to talk). In the last case scenario, it\u2019s important to bring things up again in a few months as this is something you should be open about.<\/p>\n You can always set an example by opening up about your history (or the lack of such) and your view on STDs\/STIs and getting tested. By being so transparent, you\u2019ll encourage your partner to do the same thing. When they do speak up, make sure that you\u2019re listening! Such talks are two-directional. Your significant other\u2019s input will reveal a lot about their attitude, upbringing and the things you can do.<\/p>\n Some topics you may want to discuss include boundaries, contraception, STD prevention and protection<\/a> and STD testing<\/a> (more about that \u2013 later). The topic of sex itself is pretty broad, so don\u2019t hesitate to explore any facets of personal interest.<\/p>\n The next step should be to ask your partner about getting together.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a pretty wrong belief in Singapore that STD testing is reserved solely for high risk individuals. This isn\u2019t the case. STD screening is a viable option for anyone who is sexually active. There\u2019s a simple reason why \u2013 being sexually active means there\u2019s some risk of having an infection passed on from a sexual partner (even if that risk is minor).<\/p>\n Married couples<\/a> in monogamous relationships can go for STD testing regularly<\/a> two times per year or so. Such screening is sufficient to ensure the safety of both people involved.<\/p>\n Suggesting getting tested together<\/a> will be perceived in one of two ways. In the first scenario, your partner will be open to the suggestion. That\u2019s the best case scenario, simplifying all the subsequent steps.<\/p>\n On the other hand, your partner may feel offended by the suggestion. They could see STD screening as the lack of trust on your behalf. Make sure they understand this isn\u2019t the case.<\/p>\n If this is the very first time you\u2019re having the conversation, give them some time to process the idea.<\/p>\n Also, understand the fact that STD stigma<\/a> is a real thing and it affects many people in Singapore. Significant re-education may sometimes be required to turn the situation around.<\/p>\n In the event of a hostile reaction, ask your partner about their feelings. Be open, receptive and gentle. Chances are that their upbringing or some inner insecurity will be standing in the way. Let them know that you\u2019re here for them and that you\u2019ll go through the process together. If a person cares enough about you, that should be sufficient to change their mind.<\/p>\n The conversation takes on a whole different dimension if you have a STD. In that case, however, it\u2019s even more important to have this conversation.<\/p>\n Telling a partner about an STD as soon as possible is the right thing to do. Understand that such a medical condition doesn\u2019t make you unworthy or unlovable. Most STDs can be treated or managed. With the right diagnosis and medical plan, you can enjoy a healthy sex life without endangering anyone.<\/p>\n It\u2019s generally a good idea to have the conversation in a cool, calm and neutral manner. Don\u2019t be remorseful, apologetic or ashamed. You wouldn\u2019t feel this way about another medical condition, would you?<\/p>\n Let them know that you\u2019re interested in being 100 per cent honest. Also, focus on their health and wellbeing and your concern. If your partner feels that you love them and care about them enough, chances are that they\u2019ll be receptive to your message.<\/p>\n Again, you may need to give them some time and space to process the information. That\u2019s ok.<\/p>\n Next, discuss a good course of action for the future.<\/p>\n Visiting<\/a> a STD clinic<\/a> like Shim Clinic<\/a> together is always a good idea. This way, your partner can get some additional information from a medical professional, resulting in further reassurance and peace of mind.<\/p>\nWhat You Should Talk about<\/h2>\n
Asking Your Partner to Get Tested Together<\/h2>\n
How about Discussing a STD You May Have<\/h2>\n